10 Things I've Learned This Last Year of Ministry

My family has made our fair share of life altering/game changing decisions. May of 2013 we made yet another game changing decision after a lot of prayer and fasting to move to Oklahoma to be student pastors at the church my grandfather planted back in 2005. We've worked with many students on several different platforms in Waxahachie, TX over the years and I worked with churches a lot working with Network 21 Missions. I had the privilege to sit with some AMAZING and influential pastors and leaders from around the world through the years and learned as much as I could living life with these pastors and leaders. While we were traveling through Europe the month of July, we did a lot of planning, vision and goal setting. Saying that, when we got back from our trip with N21M, we hit the floor running.

After we got settled in as a family and the "new" wore off, things that we thought would work and had planned out started not to work as planned. We pushed through with those plans until one Wednesday night when Val and I started talking about the culture of Elk City and how different it was from what we thought it would be. We knew coming into this that the culture of Elk City was WAY different than the DFW metroplex and after all, this is my hometown, so I thought I knew what it would be like moving back. After stepping back, praying, analyzing and putting my thoughts and agendas aside, God started opening our eyes to how to START ministering to the youth of this area. Here are just a few things that we've learned the last year of ministry in Elk City. 

1. Don't Assume
   Not everyone grew up the same as you. I grew up in church, learning all the Bible stories, books of the Bible and all the "cheesy" songs we sang in Children's Church, but that's not the case for today's youth. For many different reasons, today's youth hasn't had the solid structure of Biblical teaching at a young age. After every Wednesday night, Val and and I will talk about that night's service and she helps me to know what I need to change in my speaking. The first thing she said was "stop assuming they know that story". After thinking about that, I asked the students that go to Christian Education (or Sunday School) if they knew some of the different things I "assumed" they already knew....and they didn't know 95% of the stuff I was asking. From that point on I knew that I needed to alter they way I structured my sermons in youth....and in the main services when I get to speak there. 
   
   
2. You Will Never Please Everyone
   This was probably one of the hardest things I learned this past year. I am a people pleaser and I care what people think about me. THE TWO WORST THINGS TO HAVE AS A PASTOR! When you start something new and you have people jumping on board with excitement and wanting to help, you tend to take what they say and try to make it work "so they will be happy and stay." After you have 15 different people telling you their opinion (mainly because you asked for it - and some just let you know their opinion) and you try to make it work with the vision and goal God set for the ministry PLUS you doing you, you find yourself in a whirlwind. Then you add the element of you doing you and not what the "last person" did or "this is what we did when I was in youth" and actually stepping out the religious box of tradition to reach today's youth where they are. Thank goodness for January because that means you can hit the "reset" button and restructure what you do and who you talk to about structure without making a mess of it and hurting peoples feelings (because that what we do as Christians...not hurt peoples feelings - right??). January got here and we were able to find out who The Exchange was and where we were going and it's been great ever since!
   
   
3. Be Purposeful
   One of the things we noticed after getting settled and learning the culture here, the youth is TOO busy with stuff. We would try and plan an event and if you didn't have something big like points for your team, giveaways or going to something they deemed super important...you weren't  going to have many show up. The students here literally play sports year around or show livestock or whatever else they do in school. Val and I truly feel sorry for some of the students because when we do get the chance to eat a quick lunch or something with them and they tell us their schedules, we couldn't imagine doing all they do and enjoy being a teenager! So we've learned to only have 2 BIG events per year and make them purposeful while having however many smaller events for those that don't do as much and the majority. 
   
   
4. Be Real
   Even though I just talked about not assuming the students know scriptures the way I think or thought they should know them, they still know when you're being real. It's too easy to water down or dumb down the gospel when all you need to do is speak the truth. Too many youth pastors avoid the hard topics that could either run some students off or they don't know much about. And some there's some that might actually "talk" about those hard topics but not be real with the students and dance around the truth to stay "politically correct" or not offend students (because that's what we do as Christians...not offend people - right??). Students are hungry for the truth and they can tell when you're being real and honest with them. I'd rather upset some telling them WHY the BIBLE says not to or to do something and them have knowledge of what the BIBLE says then later on when they goof up you say..."well you should know better". Should they? Have you told them what the BIBLE directly says or just cast a blanket statement out on purity week in hopes that everyone caught what you threw out...
   
   
5. Listen More Than You Speak
   I'm a talker. There's not getting around that. I hear the words "STOP TALKING" all the time from my better half. Saying that, Learn to listen to your students, you leaders and most of all God. Be still and learn.
   
   
6. Don't Preach To Social Media
   This is one if the hardest things as a pastor. You want to follow students on social media to cheer them on in life or even be there for them when they go through times of struggle. That's the power of social media. You can see what's going on in people's life....that's not necessarily a good thing. There's a lot of times I'll pull up the good ol' Facebook or Instagram and scroll down the newsfeed and all the sudden BOOM! You see a post that a leader or student post and you're like "oh no you didn't!!" Next thing you notice you're scratching the next sermon or even sermon series and getting something together to preach to the post you saw. A friend of mine said, once you start preaching to social media post you've lost sight of where you're preaching. If you let God direct your messages, like you should be doing, then what you speak on a weekly basis will take care of the issues you see on social media. 
   
   
7. Build Leaders To Support The Vision
   You can't do it alone. There's a reason why Jesus picked 12 guys to teach and grow. You need to have multiple levels of leaders to support the ministry and vision of the ministry. It's great to have adults with you as leaders but if you don't have student leaders, you will never grow past the influence you and your adult leaders have. There's something about when you see your peers leading along side the ministry. You now have another level of influence to reach the students in your area.
   
   
8. Don't Run On Empty
   It's very easy to get "burned out" in ministry. You get so busy and excited you don't have an off switch to relax and reboot! This was something I had to learn quickly or my wife was going to closeline me! I was always going full throttle. Not only was I always planning, thinking and working, I was getting to where I was spiritually getting empty. It's hard to pour into the lives of students when you don't have anything to pour out. Going to conferences, watching conferences via online or podcast, listening to some of my heroes in the faith's sermons and talking with some very close ministering friends helped me get and keep full. You have to set a day aside, other than Sunday, for yourself and get boosted and re-energized to fulfill the call God has for you.
   
   
9. Be Flexible
   I'm a planner. I'm OCD. That's not good. I'm not as bad as I use to be before working with Network 21 Missions because working in missions, you HAVE to be flexible. BUT I figured I'd have a better gripe or control of things as a pastor....NOPE. I've learn that in ANY ministry you have to be flexible. There's not much more to say other than that. 
   
   
10. Your Family is #1
    It is very easy for your family to be second place when you're in the ministry EVEN THOUGH you say they're FIRST. It's easy to say it but what consumes your mind when you're home, them or the ministry? I've seen many pastor's kids fall away from church because they either felt they came in second or actually was second to the ministry growing up and became bitter. I truly believe that when God brings you together with your wife (or husband for those awesome lady ministers) that you're meant to do life together AND ministry together. As pastors and leaders, we must be able to lead what God entrusted us with in the beginning and that's our family. If you don't include your family in the ministry (NOT PUSHING THEM INTO IT BUT AT THE LEVEL THEY FEEL THEY NEED TO BE INCLUDED) you'll have a harder time allowing the ministry to overshadow your family because they are a part of your ministry. This is something I struggle with still and still working on daily. So yes, I'm preaching to myself on this one HA! 

There's MANY other lessons we've learned here but these are the ones that really popped out when I was looking back the last year. We know God had some big plans for us as a family, Gateway Church and The Exchange Youth. I'm forever grateful for the lessons we've learned this past year and the relationships we've built and will continue to build